Two.

Cuteness at Superdawg.

Originally uploaded by Bake & Destroy!

Hi, I’m Teno and on Monday I’ll be two years old. I thought I’d take this opportunity, on one of my last days as a not-two-year-old to tell you a little bit about myself.

Well, first of all my name is pronounced Tee-no. It rhymes with bambino. A lot of people call me Ten-o as in 10-oh. That would be a stupid name when, in fact, my name is pretty awesome. It’s not short for anything, that’s another one I get a lot. It’s just Teno like my great-grandpa Teno Petitti.

So, let’s see. I was born on St Patrick’s Day which is pretty cool because neither of my parents is Irish and they don’t drink. So now they have something to do on St. Patrick’s Day besides try not to get hit by drunk drivers. I was supposed to be born at the end of March but I knew my mom was pretty sick of being so fat so I came a little early.

When I was a baby I didn’t really do a lot. I mostly hung out in my swing and ate smooshed up food. Sometimes Lila would come over and once I started walking that was pretty fun.

For my first Halloween I was a goat. No one saw me, though, because it was freezing and my mom didn’t want me to get sick. She still shows me the pictures, though. She’s retarded.

Last year my parents had like, 50 people over for my birthday party. Personally, I think that was a bit much so this year it’s more like 20. My favorite part was getting to eat an entire cake by myself but everyone else seems to remember something about me licking Bishop’s head.

So, since that party I’ve been busy climbing on things, coloring the walls, refusing to eat one day and then eating non-stop the next day, not taking naps and then taking 4 hour long naps, obsessing over Thomas the Tank Engine only to get 10,000 toy trains for Christmas and immediately deciding I like Blue’s Clues now… stuff like that. I’m starting to wonder if my parents changed my name to Butthead, because they call me that a lot nowadays.

I also say some words now. Mostly I like to say “Oh, a clue!” and “No.” But sometimes I say “mama, daddy, is it hot, shoe, sock, pants, foot, belly and Blue.” My mom never stops asking me “whose belly is this?” If she doesn’t know by now that that’s my belly I’m not helping her.

There’s been a lot of talk about me getting a “big boy bed” lately. I don’t know how I feel about that. I really like to fill my crib with hangers, stuffed animals, diapers, sippy cups, crayons and step stools and then jump on top of all of it until something pokes my eye and I cry. I don’t know if you can do that sort of thing in a bed. I’ll ask Lila when I see her Saturday.

So far it’s been pretty cool being born. I get to go to Superdawg and eat in the front seat of the car and my dad buys me milkshakes when we go out so mom can do her homework. I get a lot of cupcakes and carrots and bananas and people here seem pretty nice.

I’d like to spend the next year learning my colors and some letters and numbers and maybe learning how to use the potty. I know how to flush it, I just don’t understand any of the rest of what goes on there.

So thanks for reading my blog. When I learn to read I’ll read yours too.

-Teno Slater